Monday, May 23, 2016

Day 23 - Monday grief remembered.

Today David had his PT and speech therapy at the ungodly hour of 7:30 am! Ugh!!! Which meant we had to leave before 7:00...thankfully traffic actually wasn't too terrible. Big thanks to my friend who took the kids for me...and made them breakfast! David's knees have both been hurting...the therapist wrapped them up and instantly so much better! Sounds like it was the quad muscles were working hard (which is good) and the pain radiated down. So as he keeps doing the exercises he has for homework, it should get stronger and less painful. 

When we got home David went back to I could have too! But, instead I got to go see one of my friend's brand new baby! Oh my goodness, such a tiny, adorable munchkin! LOVED holding her...she was just too cutesie! Haven't had a bitty baby in my arms in ages! Once I got back home, started working on stuff around the house to prep for David's birthday party this Saturday! Yikes! lots to do! Got all the (giant!) weeds on the patio sprayed...need to clean out the smoker, clean the house, etc... Don't love all the work, but always enjoy having a party!

Then I woke David back up for lunch and then to head to his follow up appointment with his radiologist. She's great, really nice. Thankfully she's finally getting all the updates from Sloan...sometimes they don't talk so great with each other. At this point, she'll step back though...David will be getting his care from his oncologist right now, unless things change. 

Got a wonderful surprise in the mail today...the kids' elementary school sent us a grocery gift card. I was so touched! Totally unexpected, but I'm very grateful!

Oh you guys, we have an awesome guest post!

Brewer going gray in May!!!

Isn't that amazing!!! My friend Nicole (Sarah's SIL) sent me this pic of her beautiful horse today! Love it!!! And couldn't agree more with her tag!

"Brewer is sporting gray in May for brain tumor awareness. We miss you David Hughes!💗Keep fighting Woolley family!👊🏻 ‪#‎gograyinmay‬ CANCER SUCKS!!!"

Sarah sent me a throwback pic to post as well. Thank you!!!

Dave and I adorned in Grey last May for Brain Cancer awareness. Amongst other areas of the disease, Dave had two brain tumors, but we also wanted to show our love and support to David and Mary Catherine Woolley ❤️❤️ He cared deeply about David and I believe he is urging God to take care of his buddy on earth.

So I caught y'all up through August of last year. Which brings us to September...which basically sucked.

September 2015

Fluffernutter turned 12, which was pretty cool! lol...I actually have no idea what we did though...appparently I took no pictures and wrote nothing down. If I had to guess, I imagine she had ribs and potato salad...that's what she usually requests! haha

Oh wait, I found some pics! lol...

new guitar loved telling everyone it was made out of hemp!
She loves pineapples!
S'mores cake with Nutella filling
huh...she went different this and cheese, beanie weenies, steak, and olives for her
aww, love this!
this would be an awesome pic if it wasn't for that chandelier pendant! haha
Mumsie was still here!

Mumsie headed home (don't feel bad for her...she was here about a month! lol)...and then Papa and Miss Lissy actually came for a couple days later...

which apparently meant she got another cake??? That's a Samoa cake!
She really, really wanted one of these!
Fluffernutter loves her Papa!
She's always been a Papa's girl!

So, that was the good part of September. 

Honestly, I've put this part off for a really long time. I just didn't know how to start...what to to say it. So I kept not doing it...which meant I kept not doing any blogs at all...and then as other bad news came it just got harder and harder. And honestly, it felt weird posting about my grief...when it's nothing compared to what his family was feeling...didn't want to try to hijack it and make it about us... See, I'm still having a hard time. OK. I'm just going to do my best...they know I love them...and I would never presume to try to portray what they went through. This is simply my viewpoint on an extremely difficult time for everyone. 

So, at the end of August our dear friend Dave was hospitalized with complications. I can still barely think about it, let alone try to write about it. 



He was suffering greatly by this point...we had gone out a couple weeks earlier for his birthday (I posted about that a couple days ago). We were so happy to be able to go out, but he was really not well. He was in just an incredible amount of pain, I don't even know how he was able to function. But then he got even worse, and had an infection in his lungs and was admitted to the hospital. His body was by this point just riddled with tumors...God help me, it was so bad. Pretty soon we knew it was just a matter of time, there was nothing more the doctors could do. It's your worst nightmare, to hear that. When Sarah told me, I mean, there's nothing you can say to make it better. It's awful. There is no comfort at that point. The only thing that means anything at that point is your presence, love and support. So that's what I tried to do. Whenever the kids were in school, I stayed with her, as long as I wasn't intruding. I tried to go back in the evenings if she wanted company too. 

Thankfully, the priority for the hospital staff was comfort care, so they were doing their best to make sure Dave wasn't in pain anymore. The amount of pain meds they needed to use was incredible I said, it was amazing how much he was able to function with as much pain as he had. So it was a relief that he wasn't suffering like he had been. He was there in hospice care for about two weeks. Honestly, I felt incredibly honored to be allowed to share in the vigil. The last time he was awake when I saw him, he gave me a kiss...:'( It's a good memory for me...honestly, it really means the world to me. 

He was such a good man. I am so blessed that we knew him, that we were friends. Our lives were definitely the better for having him in it. It was a heartbreaking day, on so many levels. I was incredibly sad, as he was my friend...devastated for Sarah, who had lost her husband...sorrowing for his boys...worried about my David as well...Dave was his best friend, and also I knew that this would be hard for him as he was struggling with his own cancer battle, and seeing a good friend pass from the disease would be depressing (it was)...and worried about my kids as well...they loved their "Uncle Dave" as they called him. 

I still tried to help Sarah with whatever she needed in the week leading up to the funeral. Thankfully she had a lot of support. There were so many people at the wake, it was 3+ hours straight of constant arrivals. It just shows how much he meant to everyone. It sounds weird, but Dave's funeral was the most amazing service I've ever been to. Incredibly moving to see the testimony of his life, how many people he touched. He definitely had a zest for life! He was hilarious...had an amazing voice...loved pretty much every sport you can think of...was active with his boys' sports teams...awesome dad...wonderful husband...totally into all the scifi/nerdy fandoms (I always had fun geeking out with him!)...was a great friend, could talk cars with David forever. He was brave, full of faith, had his feet planted on the Rock. While it was a sad, sad day, it was also hopeful in the light of eternity. I was, of course, crying all throughout the service...but when it was the reception, I just lost it. I was a mess. I couldn't stop...I was trying to hide in the back. Eventually I guess I ran out of hydration, thank goodness. 

Sarah and most of her closest friends...a couple missed the pic :/ (I literally almost dyed my hair dark again...but Dave had liked my hair, so I finally decided to leave it)

I don't know exactly what else to say. No words of mine could truly express all that he was and how loved he was. I mean, this all just barely scratches the surface. He is still missed, so much, every day, by his friends for sure, and most of all by his family. We all loved him, but we know we will see him again.

The Davids :) I love this picture
semi-serious...totally smashed...David, Dave and Torrey
haha...the 3 Musketeers...they were forced to be friends because of Kim, Sarah, and I...luckily they actually liked each other!
so not serious!  This was before cancer was on either of our 30th birthday party!
I love this pic I got at the town wide school race. He's so proud!
Forever loved and missed...David Hughes.